Post my non-relationship, I felt the need to get back out and date. I was also planning on a vacation so wanted to get something in the books before I left. I went back to trolling match when I got a very straight forward message. I think it said something along the lines of, "I like this and this about your profile. I'd like to meet you in-person. Would you like to grab coffee with me on this date and time?"
Having read about my previous experience of intro emails, you can understand why I was immediately intrigued. I checked out his profile and assessed that he didn't look like a serial killer from his one picture so I agreed to last minute coffee post-workout. I gave no fucks about being sweaty as that's my natural state.
I arrived early and ordered my own coffee to-go thereby ensuring that I had an escape plan if needed (I wish I was that clever). I grabbed a table close to the door and waited. Once he arrived, I understood that the single picture was a sure sign that I shouldn't have agreed to meet him. I swear I was being catfished. Normally, I give a good minute or two to reach a snap judgment, but this one was done within seconds. Activate escape plan. I immediately greeted him with, "Hi, I'm so sorry, but this is going to have to be short as I have a furnace guy coming over." I'm a terrible liar but having just met him, I went for it. Within the initial conversation topics, he asked where I was from then proceeded to tell me that Baltimore was just infested with druggies and homeless people. Ok that's only partially true, but how rude!
He then asked me when my last relationship was and why it ended and why hadn't I found someone. I was impressed with his ability to be so daft about dating in such a small time frame. He asked me if I read books to which I replied, yes, a lot of non-fiction. He responded with "That's odd. Women only read fiction." I balked. He back-pedaled saying that don't they all read things like "50 shades". Again, was he serious with this shit? I countered saying that I had not, in fact, read that because I heard the writing was poor. Instead of letting it go, he continued asking me if all women were "into that". He was clearly implying the S&M, dominant/submissive thing and I ran out of replies. I simply said, are you seriously suggesting that as a topic of conversation before 11am?
I knew I had to end this soon so I just said, "I'm going to go." He bolted before I got out the last syllable and I swear I saw cartoon dust tracks as he scurried. Thank goodness I bought my own coffee so I wouldn't feel guilty about ending the date after 15 minutes. SET A RECORD. So there's that.
No comments:
Post a Comment