My Boyfriend's Back

...at least the only man who'd even be in the running for that title.
He texted me the day he got back and we made plans for the weekend. I was disappointed to have a pretty busy week and counted down the days until I got to see him.
We had Saturday dinner plans though I hoped I'd get to see him Friday too. With the Cubs in the playoffs, I met some friends to watch the game Friday night and texted with the guy. He was helping his mom watch his niece and nephew and I think I swooned. Post-bedtime, I asked if I could convince him to meet us out since we were in his neck of the woods. My friends were blog followers so they had background up till date 3 and were curious to meet the man. I was nervous to introduce him to another friend(s). Unfortunately, one of the couples left before he arrived so there was less of a crowd to meet him. He kissed me in front of my friends and it didn't feel like he'd been gone for almost two weeks.
My friend's boyfriend chatted happily about his alma mater and my fella laughed at our conversations. I was really happy to have him there. There are few times when a guy will openly go to meet a girl's friends. I appreciated that. I picked his drink (accurately) and we had a couple more before heading home. Yes, another sleepover. I hadn't seen him in two weeks!

The following day left me incredibly drained and the late coaching day plus late dinner reservation was a struggle. I made myself pretty and got a text that he was already at the restaurant. Wait, what? He wasn't going to pick me up? I was ripe to be annoyed having little sleep and a hangry attitude. Then the Uber driver did laps around the restaurant. I was coming in hot.
I was definitely irritable when I saw him, but knew I had no intention of ruining this date. I vented for a bit and explained my state, then ordered a glass of wine as quickly as possible. I tried to be on my best behavior and not let my unrelated frustrations get to me (this is a big step for me) and enjoyed just being with him. He joked with me and we fell back into our dinner routine. The food didn't meet my culinary standards, but didn't ruin my night as it could usually do. We finished up and he suggested we meet up with another one of his friends, if I was up for it. Another friend? Yes.
We met his friend at bar near my house and the three of us instantly had a comfortable rapport. His friend was a smartass, which I enjoyed, and called me out on things almost immediately. I certainly understood the friendship. We shared a cab to another location (going with the flow here) and I had a great time on the ride. We arrived to meet some of their female high school friends and I started chatting away with one of them. After a while, she looked at me and said, I like you so much better than his ex-wife. I couldn't pay her enough to make that statement. She proceeded to tell my guy as well who was rightfully taken aback by the random comment. I smiled smugly. Better than the ex already? Who wouldn't be excited about that?
He and I called it a fairly early night and went back to his house. We listened to fantastic music and just enjoyed each other's company. I left the next morning certain that I liked this guy.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand

Truth be told, I was still thinking about date 5 guy throughout the week. He was traveling Europe and continued to send me occasional texts and updates. He was at Oktoberfest which I both respected and envied. I see you, bucketlist.
I was still bothered by the other dates and knew I had to get another one under my belt before he returned. This guy was very attractive in his photos and seemed to be an active person as well. Potential. We met for some wine on a weeknight and I spotted him quickly when I walked in. Remember when I said that most of the time, the guy is NOT as attractive as his picture? Well, this was one of those instances. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't unattractive, just not the sexy representation that I was picturing. The longer the date went on, the more I found him to look like an owl with narrow set eyes and a pointy nose. I thought it at least three times. Not promising.

This was another slow conversation start that did not find its momentum. He talked about rock climbing and running and told me that he was "too active" to really be great at climbing. I know he didn't intend that to sound pretentious, but seriously? I tried to laugh with him/at him about it, but his sense of humor left something to be desired. You should never be struggling to laugh on a date. Also, date 5. Yes, he was on my mind. Yes, he makes me laugh every time I see him. 

I diverted the conversation to a mutual topic, match, and proceeded to discuss our experiences. He told me that his family pressures him to find someone, but he never finds the time to date. That was an easy read; he never makes the time to date. I went on to share my autistic lawyer date because that's always a hit. He was actually amused by it and tried to make a later joke referring to his own genitalia. FAIL. Cringe-worthy. Also, I gathered this guy had little awareness to figure out that I don't exactly rejoice when men talk about their nethers on a first date. I still had half a glass of precious wine to finish so I continued on the date. You weren't expecting me to leave the wine, were you?

We moved to the warmer inside of the bar and were accompanied by a baseball game in the background. Alright, this is something we could talk about. He told me he didn't like watching baseball and preferred to go to a game (I can understand that). He then elaborated saying that his neighbor doesn't come by with a metal hot dog pan selling miller lites when he's watching baseball at home. Sort of following. Then qualifies that it would be awkward if he did.

Me: More awkward than I feel hearing you tell that story?

I said that out loud. I saw his face fall. It was a really terrible tidbit. I just couldn't let that slide.
In spite of my snarky comment, he still drove me home and even opened the car door. Thank you.
I hoped he wouldn't text me. He didn't. I'm okay with that.

Random People Are Hard to Find

I had a buddy of mine read my blog recently.
His response, "I hope you never go on a second date so I can keep reading these.
JK your eggs are freezing. I hope you find the checklist man ASAP!"

Those two lines pretty much sum up my feelings about this blog. After date 5's revelations, I needed to get back into first date mode. I texted a guy from match (we'd be going back and forth rescheduling dates) and set-up something for the following day. Once again, I did little research on the guy, but assumed he'd either be super douchey or a complete asshole from his pictures. Set the bar low.

We met for a dinner date, which I usually try to avoid, but a girl's got to eat! He arrived early (well done) and I instantly recognized him at the bar.
He was impeccably dressed (dare I say more so than I)which I appreciated; he was even wearing a jacket and pocket square. I'm telling you, gentlemen, put some effort into your appearance as it truly does go a long way. Aside from him clothes, he also had really nice skin. I've been toying with the Botox idea so I'm constantly checking out other people's wrinkles and I'm pretty sure he wasn't a newcomer.

We had a pre-dinner drink at the bar and slowly worked through our conversation. We discussed our days, both of which included working out, and then he mentioned the C word. Crossfit. Oh, you took your first class today? Oh, where did you go? Oh, MY FUCKING GYM?!? Slight panic ensued. I'm all for a guy trying out a new gym. I even encourage more guys to try crossfit. I do not, however, choose to shit where I sleep. Although I frequent a male-heavy hour at the gym, I never consider dating any of them because I wouldn't want to ruin my me-time. I told the guy that he was never, ever allowed to come at x hour because I owned it. I take these things very seriously.

We moved onto our reservation and cozied up in a corner booth. We had some things in common though as per usual, I was in the driver's seat with the conversation. I found out he'd lived abroad and had traveled throughout parts of Europe. He now owns his own company and finds himself traveling domestically and golfing frequently. I guess if I discussed his job, I was partially uninspired to ask other questions. I wouldn't mind being a golf wife. He then asked me about my job (boring) and asked me about coaching. I don't recall how I responded, but I certainly recall his follow-up.

Guy: Hey, I know this is really random, but I knew a girl who coached lacrosse. Or at least she used to.
Me: The lacrosse community is pretty small.
Guy: You might not know her. I don't remember her last name, but her first name is....
Me: Um. She and I have been coaching together for the last 10 years.

I kid you not. Apparently, she was good friends with one of his friends and they go way back to college days. I immediately texted my friend to get some recon work. I think this common connection was the true ice-breaker and I became a bit more open-minded to the whole experience. I laughed a bit more easily and enjoyed the date more.

As we were leaving, I saw a (now-married) ex leaving the restaurant at the same time. I sprinted and took my date with me. Yep, I'm a total weirdo and hate ex run-ins. He was a good sport about it and continued to walk me to my car. He kissed me goodnight, then proceeded to try to makeout with me on the street. No, thank you.

We parted ways. I got home and into bed. I get a text response from my friend.
"I think we made out once."
I text the guy. No, I wouldn't normally do that post-date, but we were awaiting this text.
He laughs and says something like it was 19 years ago.
Another text from my friend. "I'm pretty sure he's engaged."
Brilliant.
I text him to that effect.
He says he told me that he was in a very serious relationship and it's a long story. I assume he's no longer engaged.
I don't count on a second date. Dating is HARD!

When Should I Stop Counting?

I think I'm on date 5 now. Yes, I am counting the last meet-up as a date because I wouldn't categorize it as a non-date. Besides, there was a sleepover.
Date 5 was scheduled after dinner the week before and I was already thinking of ways to rearrange my schedule so I could maximize time spent together. Another Sunday date, I knew I'd have to fit in football so I opted for the afternoon.
A totally awesome friend of mine offered Chicago gourmet tickets (she is amazing) so I actually skipped watching another Ravens loss to head to the event. I had hoped to get the man in as well because I knew he'd enjoy lots of food and wine. I convinced him to head downtown and even managed to get him into the event. I was a bit nervous because this would be THE first introduction to any of my friends and I wanted him to be liked.
Upon meeting my friend, he really didn't say much and we ended up rushing around the event before it closed. Maybe I'd have liked him to spent more time by my side, but he'd wander to other stands without giving me a heads up. Is this our first fight?
I let that slide and enjoyed the copious amounts of free flowing wine. Small samples, I assure you. Post-event, we headed to a trendy hotel spot and cozied up on a couch with a great view. Then he suggested we take a picture. Wait, what? I'm normally the paparazzi for any occasion and I was shocked when a man suggested we take a picture on his phone. I over-read the situation like any sane girl would do. He must really like me.
Add another glass of wine and I boldly asked if he'd been going on more first dates. No. Jokingly, second or third? He paused. Shit. He hesitated some more. I went into grill mode. Who/what/where/when? I mean we did just take a picture. Actually, the conversation wasn't as tense as it seems though I did ask him to be upfront and honest about things. I had told him I'd gone on first dates so I expected the same level of honesty. No, I'm not ready to make it official, but I'd like to know if he's getting to that point with someone else. Further more, I said I'd want to know if he was sleeping with people because...gross.
Luckily, the wine had kicked in so I was able to move on pretty quickly. The night did turn out to be a lot of fun and he even commented that he'd miss me when he'd go on his upcoming European trip. Very sweet.
I woke up the next day with mixed emotions clearly due to the mixed messages I was given the entire day prior. Did I still like him? Yes. Did I go troll match for another date to keep my options open? Of course.

Dinner Dates are Intimate

It's been a week since our first date and I'm just as excited about seeing 3rd date guy. <--little help with a pseudonym here
We choose an intimate BYOB restaurant by my house and I made sure he'd pick me up on his way. I needed to instill these good manners early on or he stands no chance later in the relationship. I actually dressed up in something other than athletic clothes which he was "hoping, but not expecting". Yes, I did the heels and somewhat seductive top. We kissed a comfortable hello and drove the short distance to the restaurant; he had a playlist that hinted at his incredible taste in music. Clapton. Thank you. I brought a really nice chateauneuf du pape that I'd been saving for a special occasion. Potential at true love is as good an occasion as any.
Once again, we had great interactions with the waiter and eased into our first nice date. The waiter asked if we've been here before (I have) and when was the last time. I responded within a month and my date quickly asked, "who did you come here with." I replied, "mom" and the waiter jumped in with, "Who the hell is MOM?" I knew I'd enjoy the rest of the night.
As cheesy as this sounds, I can't recall what he was wearing because we spent most of the time making eye contact. I was curious to see how our food interests align, but was pleasantly surprised to find we're in complete agreement with the appetizers (not everyone loves octopus or foie gras). He also had very nice table manners (not as common as you'd think) and we shared easy conversation and savored the bottle of wine. I toned down my normal banter levels and actually lowered my guard a bit. After two hours of eye gazing, food indulging, and wine drinking, I was certainly hoping we'd get to kiss for real. We left the restaurant and I invited him upstairs. We danced in my kitchen.We had fantastic sexual chemistry as we kissed and we left it at that.  He went home. We kept it very G/PG and I was ok with that.

He told me he was going out of town the following week so we made plans to see each other over the weekend and possibly the next day.

I did meet him and his friend after their long day drinking in Wrigley. He kissed me hello in front of his friend and there were zero moments of awkwardness. I settled into bullshitting with his friend and found the three of us having a great time (or so I assumed, who wouldn't be). We even accompanied his friend on a tinder date (there's a first time for everything), but called it an early night. Yes, there was a sleepover. No, I'm not providing details.

Anyway, we made plans for the following day.

If You See Him Dance

There could be potential. Or so I thought.
I met this guy at a concert with one of my closest friends acting like a kickass wingman. He was one row up and having a blast with a group of his guy friends. His one (married) friend joined our level and then proceeded to break down our relationship statuses. Then he points to his cute friend who is "really smart" and "southern". Alright, I'm listening now. I didn't get a chance to talk to the friend much mid-song, but the whole group went to a bar post-concert and I knew this was my shot. He laughed a lot throughout our conversation and kept telling me he thought I was funny (smart dude already). When the crowd was going its separate ways, his friend asked if he "got the digits". He didn't. I wasn't offended.
He leaves with his friends then runs back in to get my phone number. I insist that it's not necessary if he's not interested. I promise I won't be upset. He persists. I don't expect to hear from him.
But then I do. He texts me 2 days later (what's with this 2-day thing?) and asks to meet up for a drink sometime. This is all happening in between these other dates so I have to push it to the following week. Then I went on the Bradley date and wasn't jazzed about going back to these sub-par first dates. I cancelled.
I had a date free up the next day so I rescheduled for a same day date. Hey, the last one wasn't terrible.
We met at a local place with an outdoor patio and I knew instantly that this wasn't going to be a thing. I think he was wearing a t-shirt and he looked exhausted as soon as I saw him. Alright, I can get through this. Fortunately, the waiter and I already build up quite the rapport so I knew I could manage as long as my water glass was empty. Give it to this guy, he was very keen on asking me lots of questions about this, that, and whatever and I actually thought he wanted to know my responses. Unfortunately, I gave zero fucks and didn't care to ask about his family or his school or anything really. Maybe I was being lazy. I was tired of carrying dates! The waiter would come back and he and I would joke around and I was relieved to have a break from the exhausting date.
I should have recalled that my friend mentioned his "bowl haircut" when she saw a picture of him; I couldn't avert my eyes all the time. I kept wondering how long he'd been styling his hair that way. Was he an early Bieber fan? Does he use a lot of conditioner? Is it always so shiny?
Why do you keep looking at my hair? Ummm...I'm not. Quick, think of a topic change. 
I pretended to be interested in those typical interview questions until the waiter came back. Saved by the bell. The date went on for what seemed like three hours (1.5 in actuality) and I would see his face glaze over in a completely dumb, half-open mouth sort of way. I asked if he was really tired from work to which he replied no. Buddy, I'm helping you out here.
The only chemistry had was between me and the waiter. The waiter did thank me for the great banter and said he had a great time waiting on us (me). I really carried the team today. At least someone enjoyed my company.
I left the date satisfied to have made a waiter friend and to have gotten this concert date out of the way. I didn't expect to hear from him again.

....2 days later...

He asks me out again.

I have to reply because it's basically in my polite dating guidelines so I respond, "had fun the other night but didn't feel that kind of chemistry. thanks for the follow-up!"

He replies, "appreciate the candor. Was a bit spent from work if u change your mind. Otherwise it was nice meeting you."

Oh, NOW you decide to use the work exhaustion excuse??? Also, you used "u" instead of "you". Is it really that much effort to type 2 more letters??

Not that it would have made much of a difference. I wasn't going to be convinced.

Date a Second

The guy with great chemistry didn't text me after two long days of staring at his number so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had nothing to lose.

I asked if he had plans on a set date and time and asked if he'd be interested in going to the driving range (he mentioned being a golfer on date 1; yes, on the checklist). He responded in less than 10min saying that sounded delightful. Now I was really mad! He made me make that move when he wanted to go out with me all along? Maybe he didn't want to go out with me per say, just wanted to go to the range. Either way, I was looking forward to seeing him.

Fast forward to the day before the date and a very long concert day fueled by overpriced, oversized adult beverages. I woke up with a killer hangover. I pushed the date back an hour and debated cancelling.

For those who know me, I get life and body debilitating hangovers. Any movement is a struggle and physical activity would be out of the question.

I manned up and got my shit together enough to look cute and attempt to golf. He greeted me with a quick kiss and we fell right into the chemistry we left at date 1. Maybe this was worth the struggle? He boldly proceeded to correct my swing which I found equally annoying and endearing while I told him to "shut the eff up". I'm sassy when I'm hungover. 

He wasn't a bad golfer (quite good actually) which I found extremely sexy. I even mentioned that a hitting a beautiful golf shot is one of the sexiest things a man can do. This is a fact. By the time we finished our bucket, I was more than ready for a beer.
We headed to the outdoor bar and sidled up with a very engaging bartender. My hangover plus one beer had the shampoo in full effect so any filter I might have had already went out the window. Yes, I DO have an occasional filter. We had a great time chatting back and forth and he kept touching my knee (which I did enjoy). Maybe it was the alcohol or the level of comfort, but I found him more and more attractive as the date went on. And then it hit me. He looks like someone famous.
Who you ask? Well, I made the mistake of telling him exactly who I thought he looked like and his response was, yeah, I've gotten that a lot.
Bradley fucking Cooper. Like BC in American Sniper with the sexy beard. Sadly, he does not have the accompanying muscles. Once that statement came out of my mouth, he got increasingly sexier. I mean if you think Bradley Cooper is sexy. He's not for me personally, but some people might be into that thing.
Then I had a second beer and felt even sassier than usual. He asked me if I liked such-and-such food and suggested we should get that sometime. I looked at him deadpan and asked if he was actually asking me on a date because I had to make the move after date 1. Now I wanted answers, damnit.
He told me that because he didn't meet the checklist, he wasn't sure I wanted to see him again. I then recapped the fun date and asked if he thought we each enjoyed ourselves. (yes, of course). He mentioned that I didn't really kiss him goodnight to which I replied that I wasn't about to make out with him in the middle of the street! Peanut gallery: keep your comments to yourselves.
After the date, he did walk me to my car and we had a public appropriate kiss goodbye (no tongue). At least on this date, we were already planning date 3 and I felt confident that I'd hear from him again.