Still thinking about the guy from the night before, I bucked up for my third date of the week. Aggressive move. He choose a great spot (City Winery) and I was pleased to see him standing outside when my cab pulled up. This guy gets a point for avoiding the awkward introduction stage. We walked in together (like a real couple!) and took a seat at the bar. Saddle up for some wine drinking, indeed. I found out this guy was a fellow east coaster so I already started planning our future together. As I brushed some dirt off my shoulder, he told me that he's never gone out with an east coast girl in Chicago. Okay, this is a good start. Sure, there wasn't that instant chemistry like the guy from day before, but I'm staying open-minded. I immediately took on the weight of the conversation (maybe he's nervous) and fired bestie-like questions. *bestie basically works for the FBI with the level of info she can obtain in 5 minutes
One of a set of two twins. Father was a doctor who passed in recent years. Both sisters married with kids. Brother is 6'4", played basketball in college, has his JD, and is an NBA agent. eeeeeeeeer. STOP. RIGHT. THERE.
Your twin brother is taller, sexier, and has a much cooler job?? I know I shouldn't have let that affect the date but c'mon, tell me more. He politely talked about his brother and his brother's players which turned out to be the most interesting thing he said all night. Where my jersey chasers at??
All the while, we were doing some good work on red wine and had a friend vibe going. I definitely had no interest in jumping his bones and kept looking at his formerly broken nose (it wasn't, just large- insert foot in mouth). Maybe if I drink another glass, I'll want to kiss him?
I didn't. Unfortunately for him, the booze didn't work. It was a better date than frisbee guy, but didn't top the night before. He also didn't share the same level of easy humor which would have helped his whole nose situation. We ended the date sharing a cab home (2 stops before you get any ideas) and parted ways.
And cue the text on his way home. We texted back and forth over the weekend although I knew I didn't really see him that way. Maybe his brother's single? He is, I asked.
At this point, I still didn't hear from the chemistry guy so I needed to keep my options open.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
Last Minute Dates
Aren't the worst idea when you have limited time and lots of dates to attend.
I signed up for match after drinking a bottle of wine on my couch while watching Netflix. I felt really bold (as did my standards) and ended up messaging maybe 15 guys. After waking to the aftermath, my friends would agree that my standards have a direct negative correlation with drinks ingested.
This particular bloke wasn't completely terrible from his pictures (2 out of 10 had potential), but I was wary of going on a date. I apparently also emailed him my number so when he came back into town (he was out of town?) he texted me solidifying that date I asked him on. Fuuuuuck.
I quickly scrambled to find the guy's name and agreed to a same day date. Oh the horror! There are only two occasions where you should accept a last minute date. 1st- when you have zero interest and are looking to just get this over with. 2nd- when you've been on 5-8+ dates and that's totally cool now.
You can guess where this one landed. I warned him that I'd be coming directly from practice and would be in sweat clothes if he didn't mind. <-- power move on my part because those lulu leggings do me all kinds of favors.
I met him later than my bedtime at a local bar where he already had an outdoor seat. Playing my casual-cool-we-aren't-on-a-1st-date vibe, I approached with a "hey, awesome snag on these seats" and gave a hug. What's your name again? I sat down and looked at his face and yea, his match pictures were god-awful. This guy was very handsome in person. *to be noted, it usually goes the other way.
By the time the waiter approached, we had eased into comfortable conversation and easily interacted with each other. Wait, did I have first date chemistry?? I did zero research pre-date and didn't bother to do a once through of his profile. This turned out to be the best strategy as this drink date for once didn't feel like an interview. We joked about random things and he matched my quick-wit. I made fun of him for ordering the same thing as me and he took it in stride. Alright, maybe this guy has potential. I even broached the "how's match treating you" topic to which he joked about all girls having a checklist. I don't know what you're talking about; I've never heard of a checklist. I found myself divulging its existence and even told him that I dated the checklist, but the guy wasn't the right one. It's a terrible move to discuss exes on a first date. He asked me to name some items to which I politely refused, but did tell him that I didn't think he met any of the criteria. I quickly followed with, "I'm having a great time though" to which he agreed. *he does meet some of the highlights of the checklist, but can't let him have the upper hand so easily.
I was enjoying myself so much that I went way past my bedtime and ended up 4 beers deep in a 3 hour date. *2 in the limit on any date early on
We agreed that it was getting late so parted ways and he gave me a nice peck goodbye.
I did not get an immediate text on the way home. I woke up the next day thinking how nice the date had gone and why hadn't the asshole texted yet. Maybe he's doing an obligatory 2 day wait? I had to change gears and focus on the date a had that night. Day 3 and dating is exhausting!
I signed up for match after drinking a bottle of wine on my couch while watching Netflix. I felt really bold (as did my standards) and ended up messaging maybe 15 guys. After waking to the aftermath, my friends would agree that my standards have a direct negative correlation with drinks ingested.
This particular bloke wasn't completely terrible from his pictures (2 out of 10 had potential), but I was wary of going on a date. I apparently also emailed him my number so when he came back into town (he was out of town?) he texted me solidifying that date I asked him on. Fuuuuuck.
I quickly scrambled to find the guy's name and agreed to a same day date. Oh the horror! There are only two occasions where you should accept a last minute date. 1st- when you have zero interest and are looking to just get this over with. 2nd- when you've been on 5-8+ dates and that's totally cool now.
You can guess where this one landed. I warned him that I'd be coming directly from practice and would be in sweat clothes if he didn't mind. <-- power move on my part because those lulu leggings do me all kinds of favors.
I met him later than my bedtime at a local bar where he already had an outdoor seat. Playing my casual-cool-we-aren't-on-a-1st-date vibe, I approached with a "hey, awesome snag on these seats" and gave a hug. What's your name again? I sat down and looked at his face and yea, his match pictures were god-awful. This guy was very handsome in person. *to be noted, it usually goes the other way.
By the time the waiter approached, we had eased into comfortable conversation and easily interacted with each other. Wait, did I have first date chemistry?? I did zero research pre-date and didn't bother to do a once through of his profile. This turned out to be the best strategy as this drink date for once didn't feel like an interview. We joked about random things and he matched my quick-wit. I made fun of him for ordering the same thing as me and he took it in stride. Alright, maybe this guy has potential. I even broached the "how's match treating you" topic to which he joked about all girls having a checklist. I don't know what you're talking about; I've never heard of a checklist. I found myself divulging its existence and even told him that I dated the checklist, but the guy wasn't the right one. It's a terrible move to discuss exes on a first date. He asked me to name some items to which I politely refused, but did tell him that I didn't think he met any of the criteria. I quickly followed with, "I'm having a great time though" to which he agreed. *he does meet some of the highlights of the checklist, but can't let him have the upper hand so easily.
I was enjoying myself so much that I went way past my bedtime and ended up 4 beers deep in a 3 hour date. *2 in the limit on any date early on
We agreed that it was getting late so parted ways and he gave me a nice peck goodbye.
I did not get an immediate text on the way home. I woke up the next day thinking how nice the date had gone and why hadn't the asshole texted yet. Maybe he's doing an obligatory 2 day wait? I had to change gears and focus on the date a had that night. Day 3 and dating is exhausting!
Thursday, September 24, 2015
My First Time
...was a little painful; I know technically it wasn't my first time. Cue match date round (we aren't counting), date 1.
From my old checklist, foreign was somewhere on that list and this guy was (and still is as far as I know) British so I figured he'd have some potential. Taking advantage of the gorgeous weather, I suggested something active outside which also gave me a great opportunity to judge any athletic ability. Our early texting was playful and he made a joke about bringing balls so I figured our sense of humor would align. I gave him my exact location to avoid that first date awkwardness of "are you so-and-so" and proceeded to give him an uncomfortable hug when he arrived. Seeing as the only balls he brought were attached to his body, I came prepared with a good ole frisbee*.
*times like these I thank having a car full of random athletic equipment
My frisbee skills instantly went on display and I was doing acrobatic behind-the-back leg grabs within a toss or two. He wasn't terrible but being 6'4", I'd expected more hops.
Don't think I put all this date potential on athletic skills alone; how shallow do you think I am?!? I did try to throw in casual conversation, but he took so long to respond (he had a terrible stutter) that I just gave up. I'm kidding about the stutter, but he did take awhile to form a decent response and I could tell any text chemistry was just that. I asked him about his last best meal to which he responded with three mediocre meals and okay places. I called him out on not answering my question to which he just shrugged. By this point I had checked my watch a good four times and even tapped the face to make sure it was accurate. 45min. I did my best to stretch the last 15 because less than an hour just seems pathetic. At one hour and one minute, I feigned a yawn, mentioned my bedtime, and had him walk me to my car like a gentleman should do. Cue second awkward hug.
He texted me on the way home asking me for a second date.
Me (next day): "I had fun, but I didn't quite feel the chemistry. Good luck on your search."
Him: "It often only goes one way. Thanks, you too."
Thank goodness I had two other dates lined up that week.
From my old checklist, foreign was somewhere on that list and this guy was (and still is as far as I know) British so I figured he'd have some potential. Taking advantage of the gorgeous weather, I suggested something active outside which also gave me a great opportunity to judge any athletic ability. Our early texting was playful and he made a joke about bringing balls so I figured our sense of humor would align. I gave him my exact location to avoid that first date awkwardness of "are you so-and-so" and proceeded to give him an uncomfortable hug when he arrived. Seeing as the only balls he brought were attached to his body, I came prepared with a good ole frisbee*.
*times like these I thank having a car full of random athletic equipment
My frisbee skills instantly went on display and I was doing acrobatic behind-the-back leg grabs within a toss or two. He wasn't terrible but being 6'4", I'd expected more hops.
Don't think I put all this date potential on athletic skills alone; how shallow do you think I am?!? I did try to throw in casual conversation, but he took so long to respond (he had a terrible stutter) that I just gave up. I'm kidding about the stutter, but he did take awhile to form a decent response and I could tell any text chemistry was just that. I asked him about his last best meal to which he responded with three mediocre meals and okay places. I called him out on not answering my question to which he just shrugged. By this point I had checked my watch a good four times and even tapped the face to make sure it was accurate. 45min. I did my best to stretch the last 15 because less than an hour just seems pathetic. At one hour and one minute, I feigned a yawn, mentioned my bedtime, and had him walk me to my car like a gentleman should do. Cue second awkward hug.
He texted me on the way home asking me for a second date.
Me (next day): "I had fun, but I didn't quite feel the chemistry. Good luck on your search."
Him: "It often only goes one way. Thanks, you too."
Thank goodness I had two other dates lined up that week.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
A Modern Guide to Romance: A Prelude
After 3 years, I find myself still single, but I think I've gotten a lot more savvy in dating. Originally started as an homage to 52 first dates (exactly how it sounds), I went on a few interesting dates and then met someone who I liked enough and stopped blogging. He then met someone who he liked more and they are now married. Awesome, right?
I did have a few good-luck chuck moments as I know at least one of the guys mentioned in this blog is also now married (plus every one of my exes). I think of this as great fucking karma for the rest of my life.
Using this karma and the latest and greatest apps of this world (i'd like to thank tinder, hinge, happn, bumble, jswipe (kidding, maybe)), I proceeded to look for Mr. Right for the last few years getting dangerously close to egg-freezing years. I bucked up and joined match.com (again) hoping for better alternatives only to have 50 year old guys like plumber Larry from Wisconsin messaging me on the reg.
I then took a break and really took a good look at my checklist. Even my therapist politely commented that maybe my reach was a bit too narrow (especially for Chicago), but I blinded chugged along. I did randomly meet the checklist guy at a dinner party and we proceeded to date for a few months. He was well-educated, good-looking, sophisticated, well-mannered, and foreign and took me on several great dates in the city. I decided that I wasn't really feeling it and so I ended it because he just couldn't live up to my standards. Truth, that last part is a lie and he broke it off unceremoniously over a phone call. I cried to my bestie for about 5min, swore to have a fun single summer and live out my years as a golden spinster.
The end of Chicago summer gave me a reality check that maybe wine and Netflix alone for the next 8 months wasn't exactly the future I imagined. I turned the Labor Day corner and shouted see me world and had the guys come running. Also false, I just signed up for match again. So here's to letting you in on all my dating adventures and hoping that this karma will finally pay its dues.
**I've kept the dates from those first years of this blog because...well, see for yourself.
**I've kept the dates from those first years of this blog because...well, see for yourself.
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