My First Time

...was a little painful; I know technically it wasn't my first time. Cue match date round (we aren't counting), date 1.

From my old checklist, foreign was somewhere on that list and this guy was (and still is as far as I know) British so I figured he'd have some potential. Taking advantage of the gorgeous weather, I suggested something active outside which also gave me a great opportunity to judge any athletic ability. Our early texting was playful and he made a joke about bringing balls so I figured our sense of humor would align. I gave him my exact location to avoid that first date awkwardness of "are you so-and-so" and proceeded to give him an uncomfortable hug when he arrived. Seeing as the only balls he brought were attached to his body, I came prepared with a good ole frisbee*.
*times like these I thank having a car full of random athletic equipment

My frisbee skills instantly went on display and I was doing acrobatic behind-the-back leg grabs within a toss or two. He wasn't terrible but being 6'4", I'd expected more hops.
Don't think I put all this date potential on athletic skills alone; how shallow do you think I am?!? I did try to throw in casual conversation, but he took so long to respond (he had a terrible stutter) that I just gave up. I'm kidding about the stutter, but he did take awhile to form a decent response and I could tell any text chemistry was just that. I asked him about his last best meal to which he responded with three mediocre meals and okay places. I called him out on not answering my question to which he just shrugged. By this point I had checked my watch a good four times and even tapped the face to make sure it was accurate. 45min. I did my best to stretch the last 15 because less than an hour just seems pathetic. At one hour and one minute, I feigned a yawn, mentioned my bedtime, and had him walk me to my car like a gentleman should do. Cue second awkward hug.

He texted me on the way home asking me for a second date.
Me (next day): "I had fun, but I didn't quite feel the chemistry. Good luck on your search."
Him: "It often only goes one way. Thanks, you too."

Thank goodness I had two other dates lined up that week.