Too Good To be True

Since date two was booked, I was never worried about when I'd hear from the guy. He was well-educated, athletic, well-spoken, and attractive and I couldn't wait for our next date. He was also bound to be flawed and I got hints of it when I had to confirm dinner the day before. Note to the gentlemen- girls HATE having to send that text. Are we still on for tomorrow? As simple as that sounds, please don't make the girl do it. Follow-up. You made plans. You can do it.

He replied with trepidation about the plan. He might be flying out of town for work that night, he promised to get back to me. Day of, he texted saying that dinner was a go. Great. By the time I got home from work, I had little time to get ready. I had an odd feeling that he was bound to cancel last minute so I sent a desperation text asking if I should be getting ready. He cancelled. Ugh. 

Again, don't make me chase you if you know the plan isn't happening!

He did travel on business and was gone through the weekend. He sent me a text as he was getting back into town and wondered if I was available that evening. Because I'm a certifiable hermit, I of course had no plans and agreed to meet him. He picked me up en route from the airport and even sent me the uber ETA to track his ride. I weirdly found this endearing. We went for dinner and the conversation flowed just as easily as the time before, I knew he was interested as he kept touching my leg while we sat which was a good sign. Both of us didn't want the night to end so we went for a post-dinner drink or few. Again, something about him made me so comfortable and allowed me to be myself (something that lacked in the doctor). The bar filled up and soon the mood went from Etta James to Notorious BIG. He knew all the lyrics to both and encouraged me to rap along to Biggie. Now I thought my guard was down, but something about rapping to a black man made me uneasy. He then leaned in to kiss me IN A BAR. I was nowhere near the cocktail limit to make that comfortable, nor was I 23 and in Wrigleyville so I acted kind of prudish and pulled away. Did I want to kiss him? Yes. Did I want to do it in a bar on a school night? Not particularly. 

He invited me to his place which I knew would lead to mischief, but I thought that the better option for an intimate moment. When we arrived, he immediately joined me on the couch and proceeded to full on makeout with a fervor I was not expecting. He tried to press it and I was just not in the same mindset. I had a bedtime which I was way past and I was pretty sure he was more buzzed than I was. Not necessarily the atmosphere for a romance. Anyway, I did the adult thing and called it a night and enjoyed sleeping alone in my own bed.

Then I didn't hear from him... I had mixed feelings as I was a little put off by him last date, but also wanted to get back to our first date chemistry. I reached out with a few paltry attempts to get another date on the calendar though he didn't take the bait. I sort of gave up and tried to go back to swiping. I didn't feel like going on another date with someone new.  He finally suggested a last minute meeting in between his late night at the office which I was hoping would settle the whole thing. He stopped by and we watched the Cubs game in between comfortable conversation. He again made me feel at ease and this time, didn't try to mount me in the process. I remembered why I liked him in the first place, but warned him that I wasn't going to chase him.

Our hangout ended; I didn't hear from him. I didn't text him either. Weeks later I received a ambiguous "plans for the weekend?" text with no conversation to follow. By that point, I was nonplussed and had no interest in pressing the issue. If a guy wants to see you, he will. Even if he's busy, he'll take time to send a text. In this case, he barely did so. He's not that into me. And that's ok.

This Dating Thing is Hard

It's kind of difficult to write a dating blog when you don't generate any material. The swoon-worthy guy of May turned out to be a dud. My checklist is going ever strong, but I haven't found the a guy who I really enjoy. Update of the last blog entry- the doctor turned out to have the worst bedside manner and was a total disappointment when it came to acknowledging strep throat and a 104 fever (no joke). That coupled with the fact that I couldn't truly be myself around him didn't leave me much incentive to continue the relationship. He argued with me over the tiniest of things which made being around him quite exhausting. This even held true when he kept me on the phone for a full hour when I tried to end our LESS THAN 10 date relationship <-- can I even call it that?

After dating the doctor, I took months off from going on first dates; summer in Chicago is tailored for singleness. I pretended that I didn't notice the fact that it had been months. I got back on the bumble and swiped my little heart out for most of August. I rarely messaged the guys and let our love matches disappear within 24 hours. I wasn't that into it. I went on vacation, I broke my foot, I returned to consider the impending cold weather. I should start going on dates.

I finally met up with a guy who had all the potential of a future husband. We went for a brief cocktail as our schedules would accommodate only that and we didn't want to prolong the first date. He was finishing up a work call when he arrived and texted to that effect. I was a bit annoyed but would later discover that was his modus operandi. He entered the bar profusely apologetic and informed me that this would be the longest stretch that he'd be off his phone (2 hours!). Ok, clearly this guy was a workaholic which made me question our future together. He was funny and laughed at most of my jokes (not even my closest friends laugh at them all) which made me comfortable enough to tell stories about myself. Something about him brought up childhood stories deep from the vault and I discovered that he and I shared similar summer pastimes. I was relaxed and in my element and found the time speeding by. We talked about our favorite restaurants in the city and he invited me to go to his on our second date (a man who PLANS). I was excited. With that, he had to call the date and I swear I hadn't been on a better first date. The known cutoff eliminated the possibility of one too many drinks and gave me a brief window to assess his potential. I was smitten.

I called several girlfriends because the only thing I wanted to do was gush. This NEVER happens.