You're so...Vanilla

After ole toothy, I gave myself some time to find a guy who didn't make me cringe in-person.
My next date was with a man so clean-cut that I knew good orthodontia was a given. I checked every one of his pictures to count all of his teeth, measure any gaps, and spot any sunglasses. He made the cut.
He seemed quite nice from initial interactions and I made sure to limit any texts to coordinating plans. I've learned my lesson that over-communication can lead to inflated expectations which ultimately lead to utter disappointment. I had zero details going into this one. He was, however, never married. Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf?
We planned to meet for a happy hour drink which assured me I'd be home and in bed by 9pm. I was running late due to traffic and promptly texted him apologizing. Being a gentleman, he waited outside of the establishment until I arrived very stressed 10 minutes late. He gave me an awesome hug which allowed me to relax and settle into the date. I was still a bit of a mess (can't stand being late) so I speed talked until I had that first sip of wine. I had a feeling I'd be carrying the weight of conversation, but he was pretty so I didn't mind much. In addition, he had some great fucking teeth so if I needed a break in convo, I'd just admire his orthodontist's handiwork.  Is it weird to say that I also thought he had very nice lips? Not in the overly girly way, just saying man knows his way around some chapstick.
Aside from his face, I didn't find him to be a man of much interest. I strayed from work questions because frankly, I don't care that much and tried to find some spark in our conversation. The closest we got was talking about his college life as a water polo player and I had all sorts of questions. None of these led to any real chemistry and I was beginning to see that my pretty boyfriend and our beautiful children would never be.
I asked him about traveling and his friends seemed to be all the excitement in that circle; I think his liveliest self came out while reminiscing about his friends' stories. I was feeling very much Danny Zuko to his Sandy which could partly be due to my leather-like pants in contrast to his button-up shirt tucked into jeans. I commented that his friends seemed more like the risk-takers and he said that he rarely gets the chance to be himself. I suggested we be ourselves for the remainder of the date and not do the 1st-date-filter. I remained on my best behavior because Sandra Dee would not be able to handle me and he acted more of the same.
While he was nothing but nice and quite cute, he had no edge or spark or je ne sais quoi. He walked me to my uber and left me with another great hug. At least he had that going for him. Plus the great teeth.