A last minute location change led my date to an Irish bar where only beer would be appropriate. Little did I know that this was actually a great thing as I could zip through a pint and be on my merry way.
I catch a lot of slack for saying this, but I think you can tell chemistry within a minute or two of meeting someone. I almost would like a 5 minute pre-date meeting outside to determine if I'd actually want to go inside for a drink! It'd save me time and my date a little money. Ever the good Samaritan over here.
Needless to say, when my date arrived, I knew there would be no romance to be had. I always attempt to establish a level of ease and comfort on a first date because it tends to relax both parties. Unfortunately, it did none of those things for my date. He seemed a little high strung like he was all "jacked up on Mountain Dew" so I countered with a quaalude-like countenance hoping to bring him down a few notches. Mission: failed.
He was almost impossible to converse with as he'd ask questions, sort of wait for an answer, then move on to a completely different topic. I asked where he lived and his point of reference was Excalibur (yes, THAT former nightclub in Chicago). He also told me that he had a really late weekend which I found out translated to going home at sunrise. His night consisted of DJ scenes and underground clubs then some artist's loft party while the "energy was really good". I'm going to translate that to mean he was probably on drugs. Seeing as I have an 8:30pm bedtime and don't partake in those activities, I knew this wasn't going to work.
I tried asking about his job (yep, sign of death) and he could barely articulate more than "real estate". I then asked about his commute to work west of the city and suggested he could take the bus. Little did I know that "bus" was some sort of trigger word. "I think the buses here are pretty reliable. I don't take the bus, but I don't know why. I mean I hear lots of people take the bus and they don't have a problem. but they breakdown, but I haven't been on one that's broken down, but I don't take the bus a lot. I hear that 1-4 buses breaks down every day." WOW. I'm pretty sure I had the most blank expression at this point because 1. he didn't take a breath and 2. who has that must to say about bus transportation?
The bar was pretty empty aside from another couple on a first date and a very drunk older woman (Jane) who only wanted some "conversation". Thank goodness Jane was there for some pure people-watching goodness so I used her as an excuse to discontinue all other topics of conversation. He was not amused. I finished my beer as the timer hit the hour and he begrudgingly offered to pay. The bill was $12; the credit card minimum was $15. He gave the bartender a bill and then looked over assuring me that he was not trying to impress me. Don't worry, I haven't been impressed.
The other couple also didn't have 2nd date potential and we mutually agreed that first dates are terrible. Swipe, delete number. Moving on.
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