After another unceremonious breakup (don't even know how you can be dumped by someone you aren't dating exclusively), I decided to check out what match had to offer. I hadn't logged on in over a month so my active time was brief. The next morning I had multiple emails which I'm guessing were triggered by some fancy match algorithm letting the masses know I was back into the game.
One fella, divorced (of course), reached out and we had a few friendly emails. He was nothing to write home about in the looks department, but the tiny picture appearing next to his emails gave me hope. This is a warning for those looking to date online. Never trust a main picture donned in sunglasses.
He asked me out in the coming day and I figured I had nothing to lose; it'd be a way for me to get back into that first date mode. He texted me that entire day and I was surprised to enjoy the interaction. Somewhere in those messages I asked if he looked like his pictures to which he replied, "I look exactly like my pictures." Hmm, why didn't I heed the warning? Maybe his willingness to respond to texts had lulled me in a false sense of comfort. He had asked me to name my top 3 deal-breakers (only 3!) on a date to which I replied (in this order), bad teeth, ignorance, bad manners. I thought it was an interesting icebreaker and don't think I reciprocated the question.
By the end of the day, I was really looking forward to our date and had mentioned it to a friend that night. She then inquired as to why he got divorced so I decided to text him and see. This is not something I would typically do. Especially before a first date! But I recalled him mentioning that he was open to all lines of questioning so I went for it.
Then I received the 30-something divorced man scripted response.
"We dated for awhile before getting married. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have gotten married. We fell out of love. There was no more romance in the relationship. We left it on good terms. I'm still friends with her now. There isn't any awkwardness. The divorce was easy." and so on and so forth.
Heck, at this point, I could even catfish someone into thinking I'm a divorced man based on my experience with these responses. (Yes, Bradley Cooper of prior post had said the same thing on one of our earlier dates).
I looked at my friend and pleaded for her to agree that I should run in the other direction. I'm pretty sure this was the universe testing me. She didn't, however, tell me to run. She convinced me to at least go on the date.
We texted a few times the day of and I remember mentioning that I hoped his text personality would translate into real life (it usually doesn't). This time was no different. Credit should be due for him doing the cab pick-up on the way to get a drink (manners). The second I saw him at my door, however, I was crestfallen. You know better than to buy into a sunglasses pic! He was not cute. Not at all. Not remotely, and the whole cab pick-up scenario was now biting me in the ass. Nowhere to run.
I put on my big girl pants and mustered the courage to go have a drink (all the while hoping I'd see no one I knew). The single glass of wine was painful as faking it is not my forte.
Flashback to my dealbreakers... he lied and told me his teeth were great. They were not. He had a set of widespread snaggleteeth and I couldn't help but stare. He also talked and chewed with his mouth half-open thereby putting said teeth on full display. I'm sure my disgust was evident. Does this guy floss with pipecleaners??
I finally came out and told him that that we had no sexual chemistry and thanked him for the drink. HE then thanked ME for my honesty and was glad I didn't drag in on for a month before telling him. Again, shock. In what world would I drag on another drink let alone a whole month of dating before breaking the news that I found him kind of gross??
He wasn't a bad guy, just not for me. I learned that while I needed to get back into dating, I needed to remain a bit more picky with potential suitors.
Those teeth.
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