Where There's Smoke

My date interest level dropped significantly post-crush. I got off my one month motivation and started dreading going on dates. The next one was no different. We originally scheduled a Sunday afternoon date and we he asked to reschedule, I was relieved.

A colleague saw his profile the day of reschedule and had very good vibes about him. Maybe I was thinking about this all wrong. Thankfully, the Chicago weather dampened my hermit tendencies and I went on my date with only slight trepidation. He arrived straight from the office a bit flustered; I needed to get him a drink stat. When I said that I wasn't drinking this month, he didn't ask questions. He didn't change his order, he didn't make it a thing. Actually, he's the only person that elicited the most appropriate response to that. For some reason, that made all the difference in the date direction.

We sat outside and occupied the sole couch by the wood burning fireplace. Talk about romance! Since he made me feel at ease, I was able to be myself and commit to enjoying the night. We started out talking about the perils of dating apps which is a plight I know all too well. He asked me to talk about my worst date ever. Later, I promised.

We discussed being selective in dating and I mentioned a recent conversation in which a friend accused me of being too picky. He shared my sentiment. "Do you want to be in a relationship", he asked. Nothing about that felt intrusive and I honestly answered that I do with the right person, but I'm content being on my own. He again was in agreement. Later in the date, he confided that he was looking forward to having a family and shared some of his hopes for his children. Having been a big brother, he found the mentoring really enriching and mused that parenthood would be incomparable. I discussed my coaching career and current mentee relationship and talked passionately about the reward of each. Though I'd be reluctant to share this much on a typical first date, he was transparent and genuine and I followed suit.

We talked travel and he found a way to one up me for the last year. We discussed our to-do travel lists and found that many places overlapped. He divulged that he spoke German. I was impressed. He asked me questions and follow-up questions and I reciprocated. I wanted to talk to him all night. When we talked hobbies, I had to reveal my crossfitting ways to which he responded, "you have a pleasant figure." I looked at him and we were equally amused by the line. I liked that he could laugh at himself. (He did also note my butt...guys really have a knack for assessing the situation quickly)

I have to say that the most surprising part of night came when we talked about my parents living in Hawaii. He mentioned he had never been and my first thought was, you'd fit right in. No, that's not what I actually said, but it's the first time that I could see someone assimilating into my holiday time at home.

I did tell him about my worst date and he his. I even mentioned my inability to decline a second date in person. He asked how he'd be able to tell if I actually wanted to see him again. Aside from the mutual arm touching, I said I'd reply, "yes, when?" And when he did ask, we made a date. Two weeks from that night. We both had travel plans, but my planner-self appreciated the advanced notice.