Had I fabricated our date with a place and time at that? He was apologetic and swore he could do both as long as I was okay with an early dinner. I was irked. On top of that, he was slow to respond when I tried to confirm the plans. I debated cancelling altogether, but knew I'd be no closer to closure if I didn't see him another time; this was not something I wanted to linger for months on end.
A friend asked why he didn't invite me to the party too and I had no response. I wasn't expecting much at this point. I dressed to the nines to make sure he knew exactly what he'd be missing out on by cutting our date short and when he arrived, I knew he definitely noticed. Dinner was wonderful, actually, and I was impressed with both his ordering skills and his conversation. Damnit, He did end up inviting me to the party and suggested we grab an after dinner drink vs. heading straight there. The dress worked. We ventured to a speakeasy type place within a hotel and chatted easily with a couple in the elevator up. Once there, the four of us continued to converse and opted to share a table. This younger couple asked how long we'd been together and we laughed off the comment saying we'd only been on a few dates. "oh, you two are great together" And there it was. All the validation I needed from months of being led on... We were pretty great together that night and I got to picture what it'd be like to date him, how it'd be out with friends. All of it was appealing. He found out that plus ones (or threes) weren't accepted at the party, but he promised he'd meet up later.
The next day he asked my following weekend's plans and I considered easing my guard. We both had parties to attend, but we'd be happy to meet up after (which we did). By the time I saw him, he was more than a few sheets, but I somehow didn't mind. Once we ventured to my place, we shared a nightcap on the couch and he volunteered some information about his ex (something he shared with the couple the weekend before). I didn't pry and handy google had given me plenty to stalk in the months in between dates. As he faded out of conversation, I wished I asked more but then again, I was still unsure about dating him and didn't need to know. In his state, he dozed off on the couch and I was pumped to have a bed to myself. Actually, this was the best scenario possible- a gentleman caller who won't disrupt my sleep (noted).
He surfaced in my bed in the morning and we had easy conversation. I felt no need to filter or evade and I found myself just as at ease as our first date. I noticed his phone kept buzzing (who calls at 6am on a Sunday morning??) and asked if he needed to get that. He said no. His phone kept ringing and I finally glanced the name. The ex, The one he said was crazy. I called him out. He didn't deny it. He also hadn't stopped talking to her (broken up for over and year) and though I didn't want to ask, hadn't stopped sleeping with her either. At this point, i was more disappointed than anything. I wasn't expecting any sort of exclusivity, but a muddled ex-relationship was more than I bargained for. That said, I was relieved to have discovered this early on before I was invested in this emotionally unavailable guy. Lessons learned.
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