By no means do I consider myself a revolutionary, BUT I do have to say that I might have found a remedy for first dates. Taking a dry January has forced me to suggest coffee dates vs drinks date which means I can pick weekend dead zones to fit these in. At first, I was worried about the lack of alcohol and my ability to maintain a conversation (sad, I know), but it has eliminated all lubricant-induced false emotions. Dry dates let me sit back and make my judgments quickly and clearly and the single coffee date has made for fast work. If I arrive early, I purchase my own coffee which removes the guiltiness of maintaining conversation because they got me a drink. The coffee date also ensures that meeting will not go over an hour if I don't want it to because who suggests "one more?" cup of coffee?
I got back on the dating wagon (or is it off, I always forget) and set-up my ingenious coffee date with a bumble gentleman. To my dismay, he had arrived early and I didn't have a planned easy out. He was also doing work at a coffee bar which didn't lend itself to a comfortable greeting or even a warm welcome. I wasn't going to be discouraged. He interviewed me through a series of rapid-fire questions which lacked sentiment or concern and after he dismissed my follow-ups, I knew I wasn't finding true love on this date. He might, however, make a great reference for my next position.
He went through my activities and workouts and of course inquired about the whole crossfit thing. Yes, that's my workout. No, I don't want to discuss it. Yes, paleo is a thing. No, I don't want to go into detail. Yes, I know her. Oh, you dated. She's also Ukrainian. With blond hair. So you have a type. Small world. I wasn't bothered by the fact that he dated someone at my gym, but I was wondering why there was a complete lack of disclosure about anything else in his life. Actually, I didn't care. There was zero chemistry and the amazing coffee wasn't worth sitting through this date. He ended the date by saying that I could stay for a refill, but he wouldn't be joining me. Charming man. We walked out together and I thanked him for the cup and opted to go in the opposite direction. Little did I know that my detour only led me to my parking spot on the same street. I idled in front of a building like the creep that I am. My awkwardness never ceases to amaze me.
Suitor two of the year was a guy I swiped right to solely on our shared alma mater and expected to at least enjoy the company. Sans drinking, he suggested a spot that had both drinks and good tea options. He arrived late and I sat with my cup of tea acting like I was too good for the place. Once I saw him, I knew there would be no romance to be had even if he had a great personality! Unfortunately, he didn't.
He had just moved to Chicago and the Terpdom was the only thing we had in common. He also talked a mile a minute scarcely stopping to breathe or allow me to respond (what a contrast from the man before). Due to his scattered conversation, I spoke as though I downed more than a few sedatives. whhhheeeerrrreeee diiiiiid youuuuu mooooove from? It was a stark contrast to his speech cadence, for sure. He probably thought I was a bit slow or that I had a drug problem. Actually, I don't think he noticed. He kept at it. Bouncing from thought to thought like a chinese ping pong match. Though I was dismayed, the tea was amazing. I used my tried and true 8pm bedtime out though not before he asked me for city recommendations in case I wanted to join him sometime. Sorry. Turtle power will not get you a second date. And just like that, I was welcomed back to the dating world.
No comments:
Post a Comment